We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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