We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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