its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
