Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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