sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
