I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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