I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
