Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
