I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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