thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
