carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
