I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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