Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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