She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
