Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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