I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
