can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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