no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
