The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
