these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
