Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
