i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
