So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
