You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
