he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
