jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
