If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
