in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
