My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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