I didn't shave. On purpose
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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