I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
