i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
