I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
