So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
