Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
