At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
this boner is exhausting
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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