I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
