a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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