yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
