I'm gonna have a badass scar
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
