it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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