Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
