I think I am morally bankrupt
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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