I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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