i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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