I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
