My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
