I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
