i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
