You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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