Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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