vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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