I want to stick my p in your. b.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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