She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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