this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
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