he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
