Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
