I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
